For Your Consideration: Paddy Considine in Hot Fuzz

Just a moment, things are going to get meta.

In a movie already brimming with choice facial hair, Paddy's is the douchiest.

Freddie Mercury's Lip Caterpillar

This man. This man.

I mean, look at that thing. It's glorious.

For Your Consideration: Charlie Chaplin

Don't worry, C. We all know Hitler totally stole your look.

No, seriously. To make Hitler more likeable, his advisors uh, advised him to ape the style of a very popular actor of the time, the one and only Chap. Jokes on him, though. Him and the people of Tomania.

Do People Really Like My New Mustache?

Because I'm an asshole, I internet-subscribe to the McSweeney's website. They did a story about mustaches.

Here it is.

For Your Consideration: This Gentleman

The ultimate Glasgow Grin. Beautiful.

Here's where that man came from. And many more. So many more...

For Your Consideration: Mark Twain

You know what that mustache says? "I don't fear death. If I did, I'd shave this thing off, because it is blatantly trying to eat my face."

And then some Mississippi erotica.

Chuck Norris

You know him. I know him. He walks on Jesus, he decides the time, he cures cancer, he conquers empires and, most importantly, he is better then you in every way. And that's just his mustache.

If there was any mop of facial hair worthy of Hall of Famer status, it would be this one.

For Your Consideration: Teddy

Theodore Roosevelt. The 26th President of the United States. Explorer. Hunter. Pleasurer of women. Probably hundreds.

But most of all, he was a badass. A badass with a mustache of champions.

Look at him. Look in his eyes. Those of you not yet dead from the intensity of his stare, go to your mirror and hope your mustache grows to even half that luxuriousness.

Even if you don't, just look away. You're not worthy.

Greetings, Mustache Lovers!

Hello there! We are two Stache-enthusiasts blogging about the thing we love. In need of further explanation? Please see your palm.