Theodore Roosevelt. The 26th President of the United States. Explorer. Hunter. Pleasurer of women. Probably hundreds. But most of all, he was a badass. A badass with a mustache of champions.
Look at him. Look in his eyes. Those of you not yet dead from the intensity of his stare, go to your mirror and hope your mustache grows to even half that luxuriousness.
Even if you don't, just look away. You're not worthy.
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